That Line. The One Behind You.

I love Maddi, but I’m about to shove her out of the house. And it’s her house.

Like she is crossing a major best friend line.

We have this unoriginal joke from a meme, but it’s hilarious so we just say it all the time.

If one of us does something stupid that gets the other person offended (which is like all of the time), we’ll be like, “Hey, you know that line you’re not supposed to cross? Look behind you,”

And right now, that line is like 100 feet behind her.

Actually, no, the LINE HAS BEEN RIPPED TO SHREDS.

Why is there such a great divide in our incredible friendship right now?

She’s flirting with my younger brother, Anson. AGAIN. She does this all the time and just NO.

Okay, so back story first and then onto the ranting.

Anson and Maddi got “married” when they were younger and even though they’re not that close now, they still joke about it all the time and it’s like SUPER awkward.

And it really should be self-explanatory, but there are a ton of reasons this is not supposed to be happening.

1. It’s my younger brother. Just no.

Okay, so sure he’s technically less than a year younger, but it still counts. I know I should kinda be happy because if they actually got married, then Maddi and I would legally be sisters, but nope. See, for one, Maddi and I are just friends, not sisters, because sisters are annoying.

And for two, let’s be honest if Maddi and Anson dated, I’d give it two weeks tops and then I’d get to be the awkward arbitrator for the rest of my life.

No. Thanks.

2. It’s really painful to watch

Everyone else thinks they’re adorable, but that’s because adults never seem to have a cringe filter. It’s not adorable or cute or anything other than SICKENING.

“Hey, Lexi and I are going upstairs to paint our nails, wanna join?” Maddi asks. Both of them pointedly ignore my eye rolling.

“You were THERE when Anson told me nail polish fumes were what messed up my head! He hates nail polish!”

“I don’t know, if you think it's cool, it must be really interesting,” Anson says, lying through his teeth - the little rat.

So yeah, death by cringe.

3. It’s not like Maddi actually likes him, so it’s pointless torture for me

Everyone knows that Maddi and Luke are destined. Even Julia, who has this weird partial thing for Luke, said “I ship it.”

So why these awkward conversations have to happen with my brother, I have NO IDEA.

Honestly, by this point that’s just how Maddi and Anson talk to each other, but it’s still extremely annoying and weird and please no.

4. It’s like I’m NOT EVEN THERE

Uh, who’s her best friend here?

Moi

And who is more interesting?

Moi

And who did she invite over?

Moi...and Anson…

5. She ruined my nail polish

She was so busy fake giggling at something Anson said that now I have yellow streaks on my foot. See, we’ll always get together and try new nail polish designs or whatever. Today, she wanted to try a Minion eye from Despicable Me and now the pupils are smeared and it’s ruined.

At the end of the day though, it’s just one of those things you have to grudgingly accept when about your best friend. Because your best friend normally ends up knowing your family and that always brings all kinds of awkward around, but you just have to live with it.

#friendshipgoals

(Especially the part where I just complained about her for like two pages. It's not like I'm going behind her back though, because I give Maddi this EXACT rant annually and it’s like talking to a brick wall.)

I’m going to go shove Anson off a very short plank out of the very tall window into the bushes now,

Lexi.

#old